{"id":3027,"date":"2011-06-15T08:33:30","date_gmt":"2011-06-15T13:33:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/?p=3027"},"modified":"2019-11-25T20:07:25","modified_gmt":"2019-11-26T01:07:25","slug":"mrs-crankipants-invites-you-to-a-mustache-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/06\/15\/mrs-crankipants-invites-you-to-a-mustache-party\/","title":{"rendered":"Mrs. Crankipants Invites You to a Mustache Party"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Just like the Macarena and chlamydia, a new trend is sweeping the nation!<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Manscaping has gotten out of hand these days. Truth be told, Mrs. Crankipants<\/strong> likes a little fur on her men.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to the topic of mustaches – be still my girly heart,<\/em> I love<\/strong> me a good ‘stache!<\/strong> Nothing cranks my tractor like a little hair on a man’s upper lip. So imagine my delight when I discovered this set of 12 self adhesive beauties online!<\/div>\n
Mustache Party allows me to apply a mysterious faux fur of unknown chemical composition below my nose, which is way better than the old Sharpie\u00ae method. And a lot easier to remove. Trust. Once applied, hilarity ensues when you declare that you’re a member of the opposite sex or that you are Armenian. Games follow. What does your choice of mustache say about the wearer. Does that Bandit <\/em>model really make you look like Burt Reynolds? Quick, put a poodle on your head and the illusion is complete! You are now qualified to drive a Pontiac Trans Am recklessly, marry badly and laugh like a jackass!<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Judging from the illustration of the incredibly chic people enjoying their upper lip toupees, this must be some kind of new trend that’s starting with the aristocracy and spreading its way down to Main Street. It’s kinda like those key parties from the 70’s, you know, like the one in that really depressing movie The Ice Storm.<\/strong> You know!<\/em> The one where the kid who played Peter Parker<\/strong> ends up with a severe case of blue balls thanks to Tom Cruise’s wife,<\/em><\/strong> and the kid who plays Frodo gets fried by a downed powerline. You didn’t see it? Well, I guess I spoiled that one!<\/div>\n
Absent from the selection of mustaches is the little square, which I would call The Little Tramp<\/em> or The Statesman.<\/em><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Just like the Macarena and chlamydia, a new trend is sweeping the nation!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[120,401],"tags":[445,443,442,3673,444],"class_list":["post-3027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-curious-clutter","category-mrs-crankipants","tag-burt-reynold","tag-fake-mustache","tag-made-in-china","tag-mrs-crankipants","tag-self-adhesive"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1ed1x-MP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3334,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/07\/17\/incredibly-rare-photo-of-mrs-crankipants\/","url_meta":{"origin":3027,"position":0},"title":"Incredibly Rare Photo of Mrs. Crankipants","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"July 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Thanks to tireless investigative work, an incredibly candid and shocking photo of the perpetually camera-shy Mrs. Crankipants has been revealed! According to Mrs. Crankipants: They never had a thing on me, and my record was expunged. Gawd, I miss Chesterfields!","rel":"","context":"In "Blast from the Past"","block_context":{"text":"Blast from the Past","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/blast-from-the-past\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Case of the Homicidal Harlot","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/live.staticflickr.com\/2045\/2362639842_7cd9b11ce1_c.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/live.staticflickr.com\/2045\/2362639842_7cd9b11ce1_c.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/live.staticflickr.com\/2045\/2362639842_7cd9b11ce1_c.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7138,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2012\/03\/20\/bachelor-party\/","url_meta":{"origin":3027,"position":1},"title":"Bachelor Party!","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"March 20, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Animated GIF"","block_context":{"text":"Animated GIF","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/animated-gif\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/BachelorParty.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/BachelorParty.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/BachelorParty.gif?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5798,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/12\/31\/happy-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":3027,"position":2},"title":"Happy New Year!!!","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"December 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Happy New Year from Mrs Crankipants and the rest of the Willceau Illo crew!","rel":"","context":"In "Holiday"","block_context":{"text":"Holiday","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/holiday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.C-NYE.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.C-NYE.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.C-NYE.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6641,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2012\/02\/14\/valentines-day-mrs-crankipants\/","url_meta":{"origin":3027,"position":3},"title":"Valentine’s Day with Mrs. Crankipants","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"February 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Valentine's Day is all about indulging - I'm hoping to get a heart shaped box of chocolates today. * gives Mr. Crankipants the side eye * No, this delectable creation isn't mine, it's the work of the bakers who brought you the incredible clown themed wedding cake and the unofficial\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Food"","block_context":{"text":"Food","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/food\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Mrs.Crankipantscupcake.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Mrs.Crankipantscupcake.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Mrs.Crankipantscupcake.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3045,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/06\/12\/sunday-matinee-telephone-tutorial\/","url_meta":{"origin":3027,"position":4},"title":"Sunday Matinee – Telephone Tutorial","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"June 12, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello dear readers, it's Mrs Crankipants. Today's topic is the rotary phone, an invention once considered the wave of the future in a simpler time, back before the touch tone models, texting, video chats, the capability of sending tragically ill-advised photos of one self, lawn darts and Jello 1-2-3! Sadly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Movie Matinee"","block_context":{"text":"Movie Matinee","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/movie-matinee\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Mrs. Crankipants","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Mrs.Crankipants_ring-300x287.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4570,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/10\/08\/night\/","url_meta":{"origin":3027,"position":5},"title":"What I Did Last Night","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"October 8, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Mrs. Crankipants"","block_context":{"text":"Mrs. Crankipants","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/mrs-crankipants\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/GirdleDance-388.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3027","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3027"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3027\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}