{"id":3255,"date":"2011-07-01T10:49:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-01T15:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/?p=3255"},"modified":"2019-11-25T20:08:37","modified_gmt":"2019-11-26T01:08:37","slug":"have-tokens-will-travel-or-mrs-crankipants-does-public-transit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/07\/01\/have-tokens-will-travel-or-mrs-crankipants-does-public-transit\/","title":{"rendered":"Have Tokens, Will Travel or Mrs. Crankipants Does Public Transit"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Public transportation can be a pleasant convenience for getting around a major metropolitan area, but let Mr. Crankipants’ favorite spouse<\/em> offer you kids some valuable advice particularly to you recent arrivals who thought it would be, like,<\/em> awesome to live among the steel, glass and concrete mingled with the aroma of exotic coffees from many lands and vagrants basting in their own filth. It may seem so exciting and wonderfully urban, but keep your wits about you, newbies.<\/em> For example, not everyone talking to themselves is wearing a Bluetooth.<\/em> It’s doubtful that the hipster drumming on the plastic pickle buckets by the turnstile is actually soliciting donations for tuition to Julliard, nor is he raising money for tsunami victims as advertised on a cardboard sign last week. The guy sitting across from you on the train isn’t attempting to reset his wristwatch inside his pants, he’s…. oh never mind.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Speaking of reach out and touch someone, another pleasure of public transportation are platform billboards and bus ads. There’s always a new product, service or accidental slip-and-fall attorney you were never aware of until that big box of humanity comes rolling past.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>It’s nice to know that Uncle Herbert who’s doing a stretch in the pokey for armed robbery can get in touch whenever he wants and wherever you are to remind you that he’s running low on Pall Malls.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Public transportation can be a pleasant convenience for getting around a major metropolitan area, but let Mr. Crankipants’ favorite spouse offer you kids some valuable advice particularly to you recent arrivals who thought it would be, like, awesome to live … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[77,401],"tags":[78,476,474,478,43,3673,475,479,477],"class_list":["post-3255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adventures-in-commuting","category-mrs-crankipants","tag-bus","tag-city","tag-collect-calls-from-jail","tag-el","tag-humor","tag-mrs-crankipants","tag-public-transit","tag-smell","tag-urban"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1ed1x-Qv","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3334,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/07\/17\/incredibly-rare-photo-of-mrs-crankipants\/","url_meta":{"origin":3255,"position":0},"title":"Incredibly Rare Photo of Mrs. Crankipants","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"July 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Thanks to tireless investigative work, an incredibly candid and shocking photo of the perpetually camera-shy Mrs. Crankipants has been revealed! According to Mrs. Crankipants: They never had a thing on me, and my record was expunged. Gawd, I miss Chesterfields!","rel":"","context":"In "Blast from the Past"","block_context":{"text":"Blast from the Past","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/blast-from-the-past\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Case of the Homicidal Harlot","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/live.staticflickr.com\/2045\/2362639842_7cd9b11ce1_c.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/live.staticflickr.com\/2045\/2362639842_7cd9b11ce1_c.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/live.staticflickr.com\/2045\/2362639842_7cd9b11ce1_c.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5798,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/12\/31\/happy-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":3255,"position":1},"title":"Happy New Year!!!","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"December 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Happy New Year from Mrs Crankipants and the rest of the Willceau Illo crew!","rel":"","context":"In "Holiday"","block_context":{"text":"Holiday","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/holiday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.C-NYE.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.C-NYE.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.C-NYE.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6641,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2012\/02\/14\/valentines-day-mrs-crankipants\/","url_meta":{"origin":3255,"position":2},"title":"Valentine’s Day with Mrs. Crankipants","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"February 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Valentine's Day is all about indulging - I'm hoping to get a heart shaped box of chocolates today. * gives Mr. Crankipants the side eye * No, this delectable creation isn't mine, it's the work of the bakers who brought you the incredible clown themed wedding cake and the unofficial\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Food"","block_context":{"text":"Food","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/food\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Mrs.Crankipantscupcake.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Mrs.Crankipantscupcake.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/Mrs.Crankipantscupcake.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4570,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/10\/08\/night\/","url_meta":{"origin":3255,"position":3},"title":"What I Did Last Night","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"October 8, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Mrs. Crankipants"","block_context":{"text":"Mrs. Crankipants","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/mrs-crankipants\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/GirdleDance-388.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5672,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/12\/25\/merry-christmas-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":3255,"position":4},"title":"Merry Christmas!","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"December 25, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Holiday"","block_context":{"text":"Holiday","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/holiday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.CrankipantsMistletoe1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.CrankipantsMistletoe1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/Mrs.CrankipantsMistletoe1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3847,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/08\/28\/mrs-crankipants-ponders-is-that-all-there-is-to-a-hurricane\/","url_meta":{"origin":3255,"position":5},"title":"Mrs. Crankipants Ponders: Is That All There Is To A Hurricane?","author":"Mrs. Crankipants","date":"August 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Irene had a wet and wild time rolling through town last night, but she seems sort of demure this AM. Did she do something she regrets? Does she hate herself this morning? 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