{"id":8898,"date":"2012-07-16T06:17:54","date_gmt":"2012-07-16T11:17:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/?p=8898"},"modified":"2019-11-25T22:03:09","modified_gmt":"2019-11-26T03:03:09","slug":"how-to-lose-friends-and-discourage-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2012\/07\/16\/how-to-lose-friends-and-discourage-people\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Lose Friends and Discourage People"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a>DON’T DO IT, KID!<\/strong> Blowing $1.95 plus shipping of your hard-earned paper route money may seem like it’s worth it for a good laugh, but DON’T BE FOOLED!<\/strong> The joke only works once, and you’ll be sorry it did!<\/p>\n

But why won’t your mom let me come over, Billy?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Didn’t you notice you were the only one laughing?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What’s weird is that ads in comics all seem to dovetail one into another creating a newsprint conspiracy designed to turn insular, slightly weird kids into social pariahs with practical jokes, or, God help them, magic tricks. That’s the first step. The next step is to sell kids on the idea of spending their way back into a more favorable status with peers. He-Man Voice Lessons<\/a>, body building courses<\/a>, increasing your stature<\/a> or a boss career selling seeds<\/a> will show the other kids you’re cool.<\/p>\n

Failing that there were self defense courses<\/a> to defend yourself because they’re all against you!<\/p>\n

When mastering the fighting secrets of the world<\/a> proved either too rigorous or more expensive than you thought, desperation drives you towards hypnotizing people into liking you<\/a>. You roll the dice again and send away the remainder of that birthday money you have stashed away.<\/p>\n

Snake eyes. You crapped out.<\/p>\n

Now you’re the surly middle-aged guy that talks to himself on the bus.<\/p>\n

Do you really want this to happen to you?<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

This ad and variations on the same theme ran for decades in comics, but this appeared in issue N0. 144 of The Invincible Iron Man<\/strong> published by Marvel Comics in 1981.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>This was an interesting time for old shell-head who was always one of my favorite characters. The creative team started to vary Iron Man’s armor giving the character different armors for different utilities or missions. It made a lot of sense as Tony Stark was an inventor, and I doubt he would settle on just one run-of-the-mill super-suit to go gallivanting in. He’d get bored.<\/p>\n

This issue also provided a flashback story immediately following Iron Man’s origin in Vietnam and sets up his first meeting with his best buddy Rhodey. Stark having just vanquished his Viet Cong captors is wandering around the jungle in his original Iron Man suit when he runs into Rhodey whose helicopter was shot down.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>There’s a misunderstanding at first but it gets ironed out and introductions are made as Iron Man gives Rhodey a piggyback ride.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DON’T DO IT, KID! Blowing $1.95 plus shipping of your hard-earned paper route money may seem like it’s worth it for a good laugh, but DON’T BE FOOLED! The joke only works once, and you’ll be sorry it did! But … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[335],"tags":[446,1789,1783,901,43,1785,1784,1787,308,1788,1790,1786,336],"class_list":["post-8898","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-what-i-miss-about-comics","tag-446","tag-black-eye","tag-bob-layton","tag-gag","tag-humor","tag-iron-man-vietnam","tag-john-romita-jr","tag-joke","tag-marvel","tag-piggyback","tag-practical-joke","tag-rhodey","tag-vintage"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1ed1x-2jw","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25531,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2019\/07\/09\/beyond-the-spinning-rack-of-comics\/","url_meta":{"origin":8898,"position":0},"title":"BEYOND the Spinning Rack of Comics","author":"Joe_Williams","date":"July 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I guess the thing I miss most about comics is the newsstands and druggists that once carried the 4-colored treasures I eagerly plucked from spinning racks or wooden shelves. I would spend what was probably an inordinate amount of time checking and rechecking the racks making sure I didn't miss\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Curious Clutter"","block_context":{"text":"Curious Clutter","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/curious-clutter\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/SEX_ON_THE_CAMPUS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/SEX_ON_THE_CAMPUS.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/SEX_ON_THE_CAMPUS.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3108,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/06\/27\/what-i-miss-about-comics-long-distance-calls-from-castle-grayskull\/","url_meta":{"origin":8898,"position":1},"title":"What I Miss About Comics – Long Distance Calls from Castle Grayskull","author":"Joe_Williams","date":"June 27, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Yeah, I know that this was well before Masters of the Universe, but it was too good of a joke to pass up.","rel":"","context":"In "Curious Clutter"","block_context":{"text":"Curious Clutter","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/curious-clutter\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/he-man.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/he-man.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/he-man.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9778,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2012\/09\/17\/horribly-realistic\/","url_meta":{"origin":8898,"position":2},"title":"Horribly Realistic!","author":"Joe_Williams","date":"September 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"There was a long period in comics where you could always count on ads featuring either fake vomit or artificial dog droppings. I always wondered where this sort of stuff was made. Was it a factory that specialized in novelty bodily excretions or was it a small sideline for a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "What I Miss About Comics"","block_context":{"text":"What I Miss About Comics","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/what-i-miss-about-comics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/MGC-48.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/MGC-48.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/09\/MGC-48.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4714,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/10\/17\/vampire-blood\/","url_meta":{"origin":8898,"position":3},"title":"Vampire Blood!","author":"Joe_Williams","date":"October 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"This was sort of a forbidden fruit for kids growing up in the early 1970s. Much like the poisoned Halloween candy stories that have been circulating for decades, I remember a story going around that there was something wrong with the practical joke\/prank product aimed at kids known as Vampire\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "What I Miss About Comics"","block_context":{"text":"What I Miss About Comics","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/what-i-miss-about-comics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/vampireblood-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/vampireblood-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/vampireblood-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3461,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2011\/08\/01\/hippie-patches\/","url_meta":{"origin":8898,"position":4},"title":"What I Miss About Comics Hippie Patches","author":"Joe_Williams","date":"August 1, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey gang, want to be a hippie, but don't want to live in squalor and deal with poor hygiene? Now, thanks to these handsomely embroidered patches, you too can effect the look of counter-cultural rebellion just like everyone else! All you need is one dollar; an article of clothing preferably\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "What I Miss About Comics"","block_context":{"text":"What I Miss About Comics","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/what-i-miss-about-comics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"hippie patches","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/hippie-patch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/hippie-patch.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/hippie-patch.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8298,"url":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/2012\/06\/06\/tense\/","url_meta":{"origin":8898,"position":5},"title":"Past Tense?","author":"Joe_Williams","date":"June 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Sorry, Parker Stevenson! The joke was too obvious to pass up! This was another poster from the FULL COLOR POSTER SPECTACULAR. This appeared in Marvel Comics' Godzilla: King of the Monsters No.18 published in 1978. At that time, Parker Stevenson and Shaun Cassidy were pretty popular with the teeny-bopper\/Tiger Beat\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "What I Miss About Comics"","block_context":{"text":"What I Miss About Comics","link":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/category\/what-i-miss-about-comics\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/COMICS-HEAD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/COMICS-HEAD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/COMICS-HEAD.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8898","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8898"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8898\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8898"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8898"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willceau.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8898"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}